Where we begin...

I woke up to the sound of helicopters flying overhead. Father is in the next room making business deals.  Remembered there is a protest down town. It's the six year anniversary of that war. Part of me would rather loll around up here. But the other half feels like I need to be apart of my generation. Even though, i am an anti-activist. I believe in a more Micro-activism, than a macro. 

My father missed out on the 60's because he was too busy making business deals, am i going to miss out on the 00's because i'd rather eat breakfast and read computer blogs. tried to text some friends too see if they were going, but apparently non of my friends are activists either. 

I had been off sugar for one week but ruined count yesterday. I see the benefits of staying away from it. - 

I have a feeling winter isn't over.

  Feeling relieved about tasks to come. Interviewed farmers at the market on saturday. Found some really good information. Paul from let us see his new born lambs.  It's hard to think that in a few years, these little guys will be on wrapped in plastic and bought for dinner. But, i'll forget about that for the second. 

Worked at ICP last night. I like the monday night shift a lot better then Friday Mornings. Debated the equality of gender for 20 minutes instead of cleaning the color dark room. it happens. 

Have to go to the Bureua of Traffic Whatever because of a ticket I got on Halloween during critical mass. They want to put points on my drivers license because i ran through a red light on my bike. really? reallyt?

When tanks will be beaten into tractors.

and we each need some human connection. some sort of pull. - it's funny how no one reacts to the changing of the gaurds up here. i feel like i'm living in a suburban gated community. oh no, it's just the upper west side. I live in a gold lipstick case. jesus christ. I am so blinded - by my own apathy. venturing along the f train - i experienced 10 stops out of this epi-center, i call home. the cold wind biting at my cheeks.  the smell on a winter tuesday night is just different out there. 

How can I put a downer on today, but i stick with Joan Didion. He's not the prophet. she is still going to be effed. 

the time bites at my fingers. i wish so badly to organize. but what?  I need to stand above my own childish fancies and insecurities.  

tonight we took apart Comus and The Stranger. 

this is how i feel today. i feel so apathetic. that is the problem. - I have no desire to leave this house. except eating a decent veggie meal, might appeal. dad just walkd by and was like "you are still here" i'm like, yea, i live here, its a sunday and cold outside, where am i going to go? - He makes me feel guilty when i am not with people - this is a gloomy day, and yet i must remember it is only one note in the symphony of my soul. :) 

these are a few of my favorite things. narf.

i always use to wish i had a group of friends. not like singular people i knew in seperate spaces of time. but like 20 people who all knew each other. but then, everytime it started happening, a group formation. i had to like go and run over someones cat, becuase i couldnt take the holly jollyness of it all.

today my fortune cookie read "If you want it....take it"

What the difference btw this and a live journal?

I took the tot to the museum today. her mom gave me 160$ and a goodbye hug. I dont think i've ever loved a client as much as i have loved adele.